A Chameleon…{longing to imitate Christ not my kids}

I’m an adapter. A chameleon. If I spend long enough in an environment I blend  into my surroundings. 

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Created this way…

It’s how God created me to be. Extra-sensitive. Aware of the tiniest details. It’s a blessing and a curse. I can adapt to make you feel more comfortable. Feel your pain &  your joy. But in the wrong company I can become less like me and more like them.

By second grade I had demonstrated my chameleon tendencies. If I hung around “those girls” I became mean & exclusive. So my parents decided to homeschool me. To surround me with “like-minded” families.

In college, when I spent a month studying in Oxford I slowly began to change my way of speaking. In just a few weeks I adjusted my intonation patterns, phrasing and pronunciation (“al you min ee um” for “aluminum”). It happened so slowly that I was completely unaware.

When I worked as a teacher’s aide for a 3rd grade classroom, a similar phenomenon occurred. Over the course of the year, I began thinking, talking and reasoning like my students. Nothing like a grown woman acting like an 8-year-old.

Here I am again finding this to be true with my boys. By Friday, after a week consumed with children, I whine. I tantrum. I reason like a four-year-old. It requires spending time with husband and other adults on the weekend to reset. To remember who I am. To breathe deeply & walk tall.

Chameleon of my children

When I’m a chameleon in the environment of my children, I lose my authority. I handle challenges the way a child does, by screaming & threatening. I succumb slowly and end up finding myself eye-to-eye with a two-year-old.

However, if I am going to remember to “relentlessly replace ‘me’ with ‘He'”I can’t lower myself to the level of a child. The only way to replace ‘me’ with ‘He’ is to go higher. To remain unchanged by my surroundings and circumstances. To keep a level head when the “crazy wave” comes.

“If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can lash out at the difficulty resenting it & feeling sorry for yourself…self-pity. Or it can become a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from My perspective...light & momentary trouble.” -Jesus Calling

When the “crazy waves” come I can either go down and deal with it like my children do, OR I can see it like God does and view it as an opportunity to go up. See it as a “light & momentary trouble” in the light of eternity.

God created me to be more sensitive to the world around me. To adapt and change to my surroundings. If I allow my children to dictate how I respond to my situations I will always go “down”.

Chameleon of Christ…

My heart needs to be so deeply enveloped by His Words and His way of thinking, then there is no other person to imitate. Then I won’t have to wait for the weekend to “reset” and remember who I am. I can sit in His presence and remember how He created me, the role He gave me as a mother, & the strength to overcome obstacles.

Can I admit that lately with a 2-month-old and 3 active boys I’m finding it REALLY challenging to “sit in His presence”? The other morning when I finally woke up early, sprinted to my leather chair, grabbed my Bible, I found my heart was not ready. I couldn’t get it charged up. He felt distant. I felt closed off. Even though I attempted to spend time with  Him, I walked away still empty.

I know this is a season. A busy, busy, sleep-deprived, end-of-the-school-year season, but I’m desperate to reconnect with God’s heart. I allowed social media (twitter/FB), checking my email for comments to this blog, other online commitments to rob me of the satisfaction I can only find in Him.

I am reminding myself of steps to be a chameleon of Christ:

1) Stop checking my iPhone all day long (busyness of boys helps with this…no time to check).

2) Take a true media Sabbath Friday at sunset to Saturday at sunset.

3) Sign up for accountability for Hellomornings (starting May 15th)

4) Dwell on His Truth throughout the day:

  • Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
  • Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
  • “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

What step would you add?

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2 thoughts on “A Chameleon…{longing to imitate Christ not my kids}

  1. Absolutely love the quote from Jesus Calling. Thank you for sharing. I had a breakdown today over some finances, and definitely fell into the pity party. That quote and your words are such a good reminder to strive to see situations through God’s eyes, not our own.

    • That is my prayer when I write that my journey would minister to others where they are. So thankful that the Holy Spirit brought the comfort you needed today. God bless!

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